14 Comments
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Queer Squirrels At A Rave...'s avatar

This hit hard. So, so much truth in those words for me right now.

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Feminist Science's avatar

Yeah, it's like glue that sticks to my brain.

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Laura J. Wellner's avatar

Emotional Archivist, that is the perfect name for it! I'm sure most of us have quite expansive inventory in our emotional archives.

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Marie-Christine Oliver's avatar

This is such a powerful articulation of what it means to carry memory in a neurodivergent body. For years I questioned the weight of my own recollections and my reactivity to certain events. I was told I was overreacting or “too sensitive.” But you’re right: it wasn’t sentimentality. It was storage. This explains so much. It’s a relief to see it named with such clarity and care. Thank you.

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Autistic Ang's avatar

Thank you. Hard relate to what you’re saying. That feeling of being told you're "too sensitive" when what you're actually doing is remembering - deeply and physically - oh yes. It’s not in your head, never was. It means a lot to hear someone else put this into words too. Thank you for naming it so clearly 😻

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Catherine Quiring's avatar

Do you have a picture of the chandelier?

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Autistic Ang's avatar

Omg 😂😂😂You don’t even know how much I needed this laugh right now!

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Catherine Quiring's avatar

Glad to be of service!

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Chris Cohlmeyer's avatar

Unpacked a lot of childhood memories in therapy along with some information from a brother that he had kept secret of a conversation he had with my mother until after she had passed. Wow, it put a lot of things together of why I was more comfortable basically away from family (except for one other older brother) and more comfortable with my in laws.

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Autistic Ang's avatar

That’s quite heavy. Seems like getting that info unlocked something you’d been carrying for a long time without realizing it. No wonder you felt more at ease with your in-laws 😊

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Chris Cohlmeyer's avatar

As children, we often observe and ask questions that often get to the root/unspoken truth of a matter. At age three " Mom, did you ever want a daughter?", answer"No, boys are so much easier, jeans and a t-shirt and send them out the door. They'll return when they get hungry". The truth, she was expecting me to be a daughter after having three boys (pre ultrasound days). So, we never really bonded. Unknown by us boys she was trying to get pregnant again and was dragging me down to Planned Parenthood on the south side of Chicago "to volunteer" - meanwhile a bunch of kids hanging out of all colours having fun together ae we waited for our parent(s).

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Autistic Ang's avatar

That’s a lot for a kid to carry. You asked a simple question and walked straight into something unspoken and unresolved. And then being brought along like that, not told the truth, just expected to go along.... sheesh. You were there, taking it all in, even if no one acknowledged it. I'm really glad you shared this.

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Seeking Authenticity's avatar

Thank you for giving our memories the proper place they hold in our lives. Don't these idiots realize if we could simply let it go, we would??

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Sarah Teresa Cook's avatar

People suggest to “let it go” as if release is a decision. But for you, memory is physical." Yep yep yep yep yep.

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