Yep, this is why I was so into forums. Asynchronous communication. I'd get up and read people's posts, and gradually through the day my brain would come up with responses. I'd scribble them down on scrap paper and then type them up at night. I could say far more that way than I ever could in a so-called "conversation".
Yeeeeeeeessssss!!!! I really cannot stand long phone conversations. As eloquently as I write and can even speak in person sometimes, I am inevitably awkward on the phone. I never know how long to pause or how to make meaningless small talk and if I'm going to have a long conversation I absolutely require the visible human feedback that goes with it or I'm just out of my element. I know that I have irritated some people with my reticence to have long phone chats, but I don't let people make that my problem anymore. If I can text that's usually what imma do.
It's interesting that you say that, because as much as I deplore normal person to person phone conversations, I have also worked on the phones, and not only was I good at it, but I even mostly enjoyed it. I think that might have something to do with the fact that if I'm on the phone for work, I'm usually operating under a fairly structured framework with very little ambiguity or variance in the conversation. If I'm working on the phone I know what I have to say and usually how my employer wants me to say it and I can stop worrying about the quickly shifting sands of trying to carry a normal convo.
Ohhh that’s interesting as well. You saying that reminds me that I did actually enjoy the phone as well, becuase it was tied into my job, which was my special interest at the time. Most phone calls followed the same pattern so that probably helped too.
Think I’m an extrovert because I was a chatty hairdresser a deli worker I owned a Foodtruck and chat I can. But on my terms and turf. If I said to people I was an introvert no one believes me because iv always had very social Jobs. Not a fan of people Otherwise. Phones give me anxiety. You hit the nail on the head. We can be whoever when we are working.
Exactly! I know that I was quite capable of putting on the most socially forward persona when I was working the customer service/customer relations types of jobs. I worked at Oregon State run poker rooms for years and years and that required a very social personality. But it's not who I was when I went home at night.
Thanks DeeDee 😊Same here. I used to be a counselor and was pretty chatty and in my element. People thought I was extroverted. At the time I wondered why I was so good at talking at work but not in my personal life. Now I know lol
Weird even when I talk to my daughter. It’s awkward and I know she feels it. She said call Whenever you like. I don’t. It scares me. Mom I could talk to for an hour and often did. But that’s it. She’s gone. I’d rather text.
There's only one person who I conversate with on a daily basis and that's my 90 year old grandmother and that call I wouldn't miss for all the money on the planet. She gets a lot more effort than most people when it comes to the phone calling. 😊
I feel the same! Always thought I was introvert or maybe anti social or just don’t like people. I need to have things on my space and time and I come home to wind down and rejuvenate. I could stay home for weeks and weeks 😹👩🏻🎨
Yes!! I struggle with this constantly. Texting is so peaceful and it’s far easier to express myself fully. Thank you for articulating this so beautifully, Ang!
Anyone and I don’t pickup unless I have to. I want to call my kids. They don’t seem interested. The halting awkward words you mention are so it. I dislike the phone. Gives me anxiety. If my daughter called me it would feel different because it means she wants to. I don’t call people because I don’t know if they want to talk to me. Texting is safer. Your words and revelations are profound. 💕
Oh, you are making me blush. Thank you. Here’s what I think is profound about your words: “I don’t call people because I don’t know if they want to talk to me.” I’ve felt this way my entire life and only heard someone else echo this just now. Thank you thank you 😊
Thanks for writing this! I wish everyone preferred the written word for communicating.
I can’t say I enjoy talking on the phone. It’s very tiring for me. Plus it interrupts whatever I’m doing.
I have tons of little notebooks full of conversations I’ve never had with anyone after they have left my presence because I couldn’t find my words when we were together as you said because of all the other noise. I can do fairly well one to one but I go mute when there’s more people.
Unless I’m doing public speaking. That’s different. Then I have a prepared talk and I’m center stage. I’m not afraid of interrupting someone else.
Yep, this is why I was so into forums. Asynchronous communication. I'd get up and read people's posts, and gradually through the day my brain would come up with responses. I'd scribble them down on scrap paper and then type them up at night. I could say far more that way than I ever could in a so-called "conversation".
This is why I write on Substack. It's the best way to express myself. I have less trust for my abilities in person 😕
Not to mention the additional processing time! thanks for sharing this; often we see text as “less than” but I agree with you.
Yeeeeeeeessssss!!!! I really cannot stand long phone conversations. As eloquently as I write and can even speak in person sometimes, I am inevitably awkward on the phone. I never know how long to pause or how to make meaningless small talk and if I'm going to have a long conversation I absolutely require the visible human feedback that goes with it or I'm just out of my element. I know that I have irritated some people with my reticence to have long phone chats, but I don't let people make that my problem anymore. If I can text that's usually what imma do.
Couldn’t agree more. Thank you for saying that! I have nooooo idea how I did it for decades at jobs, having to talk on the phone on a regular basis!
Yes I do not know how I was so friendly in my Foodtruck 😹😹😹😹
It's interesting that you say that, because as much as I deplore normal person to person phone conversations, I have also worked on the phones, and not only was I good at it, but I even mostly enjoyed it. I think that might have something to do with the fact that if I'm on the phone for work, I'm usually operating under a fairly structured framework with very little ambiguity or variance in the conversation. If I'm working on the phone I know what I have to say and usually how my employer wants me to say it and I can stop worrying about the quickly shifting sands of trying to carry a normal convo.
Ohhh that’s interesting as well. You saying that reminds me that I did actually enjoy the phone as well, becuase it was tied into my job, which was my special interest at the time. Most phone calls followed the same pattern so that probably helped too.
Exactly!! You are
Correct. People
Think I’m an extrovert because I was a chatty hairdresser a deli worker I owned a Foodtruck and chat I can. But on my terms and turf. If I said to people I was an introvert no one believes me because iv always had very social Jobs. Not a fan of people Otherwise. Phones give me anxiety. You hit the nail on the head. We can be whoever when we are working.
Exactly! I know that I was quite capable of putting on the most socially forward persona when I was working the customer service/customer relations types of jobs. I worked at Oregon State run poker rooms for years and years and that required a very social personality. But it's not who I was when I went home at night.
Thanks DeeDee 😊Same here. I used to be a counselor and was pretty chatty and in my element. People thought I was extroverted. At the time I wondered why I was so good at talking at work but not in my personal life. Now I know lol
Me too. Phoning feels
Weird even when I talk to my daughter. It’s awkward and I know she feels it. She said call Whenever you like. I don’t. It scares me. Mom I could talk to for an hour and often did. But that’s it. She’s gone. I’d rather text.
There's only one person who I conversate with on a daily basis and that's my 90 year old grandmother and that call I wouldn't miss for all the money on the planet. She gets a lot more effort than most people when it comes to the phone calling. 😊
“Why I’d Rather Text You: Or On Why I Will Never Answer Your Calls.” Why waste our time?! Ha ha! 🤣
😆
My son is on the spectrum, and I prefer texting to calling, which now tells me a lot.🤔🙂 I'm grateful to read your thoughts.
Thank you for reading and saying that 😊
I feel the same! Always thought I was introvert or maybe anti social or just don’t like people. I need to have things on my space and time and I come home to wind down and rejuvenate. I could stay home for weeks and weeks 😹👩🏻🎨
Yes!! I struggle with this constantly. Texting is so peaceful and it’s far easier to express myself fully. Thank you for articulating this so beautifully, Ang!
Thank you for reading 😊
Well "said!"
😊👍🙏
I prefer texting too. It really gets on my nerves when I receive those voice messages
Yeah I don’t call
Anyone and I don’t pickup unless I have to. I want to call my kids. They don’t seem interested. The halting awkward words you mention are so it. I dislike the phone. Gives me anxiety. If my daughter called me it would feel different because it means she wants to. I don’t call people because I don’t know if they want to talk to me. Texting is safer. Your words and revelations are profound. 💕
Oh, you are making me blush. Thank you. Here’s what I think is profound about your words: “I don’t call people because I don’t know if they want to talk to me.” I’ve felt this way my entire life and only heard someone else echo this just now. Thank you thank you 😊
Awe💕 your words were profound. It’s been only lately that I find there are others.
Oh boy really!!! Scary when someone understands me. 😹😹😹😹
We Speak the same language I guess. We are all in this together. 💕
We most certainly are 😊Thank you for finding me. I'm still getting used to how nice it feels to have other people understand me.
Thanks for writing this! I wish everyone preferred the written word for communicating.
I can’t say I enjoy talking on the phone. It’s very tiring for me. Plus it interrupts whatever I’m doing.
I have tons of little notebooks full of conversations I’ve never had with anyone after they have left my presence because I couldn’t find my words when we were together as you said because of all the other noise. I can do fairly well one to one but I go mute when there’s more people.
Unless I’m doing public speaking. That’s different. Then I have a prepared talk and I’m center stage. I’m not afraid of interrupting someone else.