This has been me for the longest time. When I was a school I was in the “weird” kid group and, when we left school, they all blossomed and I waited, with bated breath, for it to happen to me. It never did. But, now I understand it. 🖤
That waiting can shape your whole sense of self without you even noticing. I'm glad you’ve come to see it more clearly now. That shift’s so significant. I was also in a weird kid group and the same thing happened as with your friends. I was waiting for it to happen to me and when it didn't I felt like such crap. Thank goodness we've got awareness now!
"It’s an odd sort of mourning. You’re not longing for the past but grieving the person you thought you were supposed to become. The one who had endless stamina. Who could network with ease. Who never melted down in private. Who didn’t need so much rest, so much recovery, so much alone time."
Oh yes. And now I'm not only mourning it for myself but mourning if for my family, for my children. I had so many plans for all the things I thought we'd do. And mourning the loss of them is hard.
That does sound hard, watching the version of life you pictured drift further out of reach, especially when it was wrapped up in love for your people. There’s no easy way to grieve that. Just trying to be here anyway feels like its own kind of courage ❤️
This has been me for the longest time. When I was a school I was in the “weird” kid group and, when we left school, they all blossomed and I waited, with bated breath, for it to happen to me. It never did. But, now I understand it. 🖤
That waiting can shape your whole sense of self without you even noticing. I'm glad you’ve come to see it more clearly now. That shift’s so significant. I was also in a weird kid group and the same thing happened as with your friends. I was waiting for it to happen to me and when it didn't I felt like such crap. Thank goodness we've got awareness now!
"It’s an odd sort of mourning. You’re not longing for the past but grieving the person you thought you were supposed to become. The one who had endless stamina. Who could network with ease. Who never melted down in private. Who didn’t need so much rest, so much recovery, so much alone time."
Oh yes. And now I'm not only mourning it for myself but mourning if for my family, for my children. I had so many plans for all the things I thought we'd do. And mourning the loss of them is hard.
That does sound hard, watching the version of life you pictured drift further out of reach, especially when it was wrapped up in love for your people. There’s no easy way to grieve that. Just trying to be here anyway feels like its own kind of courage ❤️