Liking a Mind Like This

Some mornings, waking up feels like opening fifty tabs at once. Each one critical. The body scrambles to catch up.

In those mornings, self-love sounds like a lie. What occurs instead is subtler: letting the tabs exist. Letting them stack. Letting them close in their own time. A truce with yourself. Dropping the verdict.

Your mind’s in this constant pursuit of certainty. It wants coherence, for the truth to line up all the way through. When life’s jagged, your nervous system works overtime, trying to solve the unsolvable, again and again. Then our fun little friend Burnout makes a cameo, born of attention that never gets to stand down. Sometimes shame tries to renegotiate your size.

Liking the way your mind works means trusting that its intensity has purpose. The questions don’t persist without reason. The places you get stuck usually mark something that matters, something unfinished, something asking for tending rather than correction.

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Some days there’s a sense that nothing needs adjusting. Notice the first sentence your mind offers before editing begins. Leave it unfinished. Let it stand.

Try closing your eyes and saying one thing out loud, simply to hear it in the air.
“My mind is intense.”
“My mind is reliable.”
“My mind is built for depth.”

Then live as if those sentences deserve respect. Feed yourself. Move toward instinct. Take joy and let it exist beside effort. Permit the body to have its rituals: pressure, rocking, pacing, stillness.

Think about what becomes possible when your mind stops being the thing you’re managing and starts being the place you’re standing. Decisions are easier. Boundaries stay intact. Curiosity returns. There’s less urgency to explain yourself, more trust in your own read of a situation.

There’s a difference between having a mind and living inside it.

You’ve done both. For a long time, you lived beside it, ahead of it, against it. You learned skill, control, distance. They kept you functioning.

Living inside your mind removes the buffer you relied on. You feel things sooner. Stronger. More directly. There’s nowhere to hide from your own reactions anymore.

The closeness delivers what you haven’t had in a long time: orientation. You know where you are. You know what you want. You know when something’s going to want too many spoons.

That knowledge settles deep. It’s hard-won.
From here, your choices make more sense.

— Autistic Ang

* Upgrade to Paid! The IRS doesn’t accept validation as income.

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I recommend the audio. I go off-script a lot and share personal experiences that don’t make it into the written version. Adds a layer of context you won’t get from just reading. (A bit of a sweary layer…)

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