The Standard You Set
You check whether your name lights up someone’s phone
the way theirs lights up yours.
Sometimes it doesn’t.
A familiar thought surfaces: I’m easy to overlook.
It has lived in you for years.
But it isn’t the truth.
It began the first time your effort wasn’t reciprocated.
Repeated disappointment turned into a belief.
Eventually, it felt safer to see yourself as optional.
You were never optional.
You simply tolerated being treated that way.
You know the pattern.
You send a message that requires courage,
then set your phone aside as if you’re unaffected.
Still, you reach for it.
Reread your words.
Reconsider your tone.
As though refinement could secure someone’s attention.
You preempt the silence with understanding.
Offer explanations on their behalf—
busy, tired, overwhelmed.
You restrain your desire
because pride convinces you that composure is strength.
That wanting less makes you more valuable.
That giving without asking proves maturity.
But maturity isn’t pretending you need less than you do.
The discipline of your heart is the standard.
Honest intent.
Follow-through that matches what was said.
Consistency, even when no one’s watching.
People recognize your grounded presence.
They trust it.
They confide in it.
Do not reduce that standard to secure approval.
Love with integrity.
And wait for what meets you there.
— Autistic Ang
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